Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
