I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
