so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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