whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
