I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
