break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
