I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she told me i tasted like america
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
