absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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