how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
