even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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