Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
