She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
