Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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