It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
