on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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