she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
