I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just found a bag of teeth...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Please don't give away my fajitas
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
