I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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