I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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