3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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