I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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