Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
