Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
