He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
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