I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
