i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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