Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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