I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize