So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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