i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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