Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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