you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
