we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
