So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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