oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
