So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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