So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
