No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Michael Bay diarrhea
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
