Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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