i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
pray to the hookup gods
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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