Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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