now i know why i became what i already was.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
