Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
