ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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