I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm at about main and main street
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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