i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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