The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
why is half of my head shaved?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
