you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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