Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
