Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
