I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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