we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
