I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
