I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I faked an abortion last night.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
