dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
