Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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