so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
