You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
