If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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