On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
