Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
A bitchslap is in order.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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