She is in my trunk
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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