Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
